seXee (Coming soon to a CD near you)

I want your sex, I want your love
I want you down here with me in the mud
I want your body, I want your soul
I wanna devour you so I can feel whole
I wanna feel cheap, I wanna feel used
I want to feel like yesterday's news
I want to feel dirty, I want to be free
I want to take you to new heights of extacy
I WANT YOUR SEX (xxx)
I wanna get down, I wanna get in
I want to teach you a new definition of sin
I wanna ignite, I wanna explode
I wanna give you a reason to fully unload
I wanna bow down, I wanna serve you
I want to do whatever you want me to do
I want to get wet, I wanna obey
I want to say all the things that I should not say
I WANT YOUR SEX (xxx)

Turn on the Ugly Lights (From the Innervenus records comp.)

If you show me the way...
Will I have to repay...
Can this life be replayed?
How will we all save face?
Darkest path leads to fall...
Is there light after all?
Iodine takes the sting...
King of the hill of the king...
Are my lines all the same
Who will take all the blame
Burning eyes show me how
Where is my refuge now?

Mr. Blind and the Estrogenical Treachery (from Notes From Thee Real Underground Vol. 3)

Everything dripping from your lips is fake
Maybe we should burn you at the stake
You worked black hearted magic on a poor dumb innocent
You don’t intend to offend but offend with your intent
You burned me down tore out my heart and then you sucked me dry
You wanted me to beg because I did not want to die
    CHORUS
    you don’t wanna throw away the box it came in
    but if you buy now we’ll absolve all your sin
    Everyone’s dying and I just don’t care
    and everything’s broken because you’re not there
    Whats the difference betrayal or denial
    You can afford to have a looking glass smile
    Take these scars off of my wrists
    And wipe away these tears of piss
A permanent victim with no escape
A supervillain bitch without a cape
You fooled us all with eyes that melted snow and froze the sun
And when you plunged the knife in me you had already won
The only thing I trusted in just stabbed me in the back
It took five years to see that heart and soul are what you lack
    CHORUS

;;; [semicolonic] (from underlife)

I don’t know why I’m always doing this pause to think it passes by
It’s like my brain and hands and feet are stuck while pausing for my eye
I see the visions in my head fading until nothing remains
Last image perceived locked away deep in the center of my brain
One can never fool one’s vision it’s the only honest sense
But accidents can happen when your mind holds all your friendsc x
All the colors and the images they all but fade away
As we die amongst the blackness that surrounds our self decay
    CHORUS = Everything is fading………..
Poke the eye out of the needle and unravel all that’s true
When you ask me why I do this thing I do not answer you
We must try to rid ourselves of thought it is the only way
To become something that matters now that we are led astray
Just like lambs unto the slaughter that do not see where they are
Perhaps we as a culture have walked blindly too far
Look around and see the world so full of ignorance and hate
By the time the eyes are open we will find that it’s too late
    CHORUS = Everything is fading………..
    This is so degrading

ovoid vovoid (from underlife)

one simple deduction
helps me to decide
always have to run from you
always have to hide
    CHORUS
    help me the void is pulling me under
    help me i have no love to lose
can’t face this isolation
can’t face the pain it brings
can’t face my own destruction
can’t face my own feelings
    CHORUS
    help me the void is pulling me under
    help me i can’t stand the pain
...
    help me the void is pulling me under
    help me i have no love to lose
    help me my thoughts are burning
    tell me why im so confused?
don’t know what to do
don’t know what to think
i can’t see the light
all i do is sink
    CHORUS
    help me the void is pulling me under
    help me i have no love to lose
    help me my body is aching
    tell me why im so confused

discontent (from underlife)

self.stimulation key to reconciliation am I truly
all consuming am i toward annihilation?
i scream out silently because i am so wrong
i cannot see because the light's all gone.
apathetic wisdom from a world that doesn't care
sometimes I wonder if there’s anybody there?
    CHORUS = I’ve got to/ I want to/ I can’t be discontent
lackluster meat made out of dead morality.
i cry as their revolting eyes penetrate me.
nobody's EVER truly cared i realize.
they look the other way and cover up their eyes.
heretic music to the ears of the diseased
they cry out blasphemy and wipe spit from their sleeves.
so disenchanted that i don't know what to do
give me your empathy while i'm destroying you.

13 [godforsaken] (from Notes From Thee Real Underground Vol. 3)

My reserves of faith have run dry
You say turn the other cheek but take an eye for an eye
With these wounds you were meant to betray
I beieved in you once but you took it all away
Look to your followers if you want to blame
They come out of your church and preach hate in your name
So many believe in your lies
They’ll all see the truth the day everyone dies
    CHORUS
    YOU ARE THE GOD THAT FAILED ME
    TOOK DOWN YOUR SON AND NAILED ME
    TO A CROSS OF APATHY
    YOU ARE THE GOD THAT FAILED ME
    (x2)
Anoint the sick with the wine of regret
Abandoned temples, stains of sweat
And the blood of those you abused
The dried up shells of the twisted and used
You say you love them all but that’s not true
Only the cynic sees the hate in you
Your mask of righteousness hides rotting decay
Project intolerence, don't mean what you say.
    CHORUS (x2)
Retail religion is what keeps you alive
As seen on TV, only $9.95
If you call now, we’ll add eternal salvation
Something to play with while you’re living damnation
All of the sheep are so comfortably numb
You know how to keep them all blind deaf and dumb
Feed them the opium, a pill for the soul
You take away pieces so they can feel whole
    CHORUS (x2)

A Thousand Miles of Skin Between Us

The concrete shame spiral staircase inched out of the sky and pressed into my chest like a nest full of angry anvils

My wounds undressed themselves and winked third eyes at my psychic friend while my body gave way to the pressure

Wind was the chorus in a serenade of guilt and rain washed off the dust of a thousand dead thoughts, aborted in the cosmic womb

I picked myself up like a hangman and dangled prepositions as the door slammed itself into oblivion, her perfume black hooded and waiting

The hall walked a thousand miles uphill during winter, frozen echoes bouncing off stalactites of blood in my patchwork heart

Doors locked themselves from without while the car pulled out of the garage and into the rest of our lives, burning sulfur and smoke

Mouth like ashes, a dried up river bed trampled down by settlers with no remorse and no memory of home

Tears sprang from the cracks like blood from a glass turnip and waterfalls taunted my barrel over to be dashed on the rock and roll love poison

Empty space begging to be filled burned in the midday sun scorching away ghost towns and cigarette burned clouds that looked like fish

Walking to the end of the cement wasted all that a thousand broken clocks had to give, the emptiness like a wall carved from a granite rictus

I turned around whirling in the mist, the sun left and went home and the world stopped moving with a jarring crunch

The television signals like wasps in the car, causing calamity crashes and burned dinner waiting for salesmen that never come home

The bed a deserted arctic research station with no findings and no funding, I let myself freeze and blister all at once if only to feel something genuine

The little beaver that couldn't...

Once upon a time, there was a little beaver that couldn't.
What he couldn't do, we don't know.
He wouldn't tell anyone, because he wouldn't admit to himself that he had a problem.
So one day the beaver bought an assault rifle out of the trunk of a 1993 LeSabre
From some guy named Chet.
The little beaver went to see his friend Mr. Owl who owed him money.
Mr. Owl wouldn't pay, so the little beaver pulled out his assault rifle.
Unfortunately for him, what he couldn't do was pull the trigger.
Mr. Owl pulled out his glock and put a cap in the beaver's ass.
The End.

Just as a bit of a side-note, both of these following pieces were written right after my wife left me for another guy last summer. I'm not usually this pathetic, but that event hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before, and part of me will always love her, no matter how much she hurt me. These were some ways of coping, along with the song Mr. Blind and the Estrogenical Treachery which you'll find in the other column.

sad masturbation and cable TV movie reruns

while the nuclear family explodes outside my window
the acid eaten dilapidated film reel on the projector in my head
spins wildly spitting out a picture that nobody else can watch
replaying the scene over and over I know every word and gesture
the sound comes out as though it’s being shat out by a record player
with a bent needle and speakers from a run down drive-in
she says she’s lost the feelings that she once had
he says she’s his everything and his universe
the screen goes black and we hear the sounds of a ticking clock
pan back from a wet eyeball sitting in the darkness watching
sickly sweet tooth decaying re-run television
masturbating sadly on the couch while she sits in the theatre with friends
oblivious to the emptiness that surrounds everything now
the colors of her feathers too bright to be held in the cage of the mind
she flies from the screen leaving a trail of mystery and empty drawers
part of him is joyous for the freedom she desires being realized
but now everything is gray, and all the colors follow her away
a demented piper, drawing all the hues into the shadows of a doubtful future
the bridges in the background are on fire, they won’t go out
i hate this film.