Gerbil Probe Records News

October 20th 2005

SCREAMING MECHANICAL BRAIN ATTACK

    Flood Damage is finally playing one of those chaos fueled industrial punk madness influenced shows you all love so much, and we're bringing along some friends. Screaming Mechanical Brain (formerly the band known as Screaming Monkey Boner) and Retard-o-bot are joining us at Big Boys Q'n here in Carbondale, IL for a wild show you will not want to miss!

Click here for the flyer!

October 26, 2005 - 9:00 PM

    @ Big Boys Q'n  Ages 19+
   104 West Jackson
    Carbondale, IL 62901
    SCREAMING MONKEY BONER
    WITH
        RETARD-O-BOT and FLOOD DAMAGE!!!

Come one, come all, to the greatest show on Earth! Like dynamite straight to your brain!

March 4th 2005

FLOOD DAMAGE MAKES GIRLS SCREAM! YOU CAN TOO!

    The new t-shirts are in and they look and feel incredible! Made of 100% combed cotton, these t-shirts are fitted so they're actually shaped like a torso instead of a T. Because of this, they will look excellent on you, and probably even make you look like you have more muscles than you do. (If you already HAVE muscles and are all buff and in shape and stuff then the shirt will accentuate your rippling arms and torso and make you look like some kind of tough guy or girl who eats nails for breakfast, then proceeds to make girls scream for hours at a time).

    On your right, you'll see our lovely t-shirt model, Susan. Doesn't she look tough? Doesn't it make you want to scream? I know it makes me want to, and I'm not even a girl. Imagine if I was, how much I'd be screaming right now? I'd be screaming to wake the dead!

    This shirt is also a great conversation starter. "How do you make girls scream, exactly?" someone might ask you. "A good question," you'll reply, "Actually, there are several packages I offer. I could chase you around an amusement park wearing a spooky mask, or perhaps take you on a roller-coaster?" The conversation is sure to take off from there, right?

    So sexy.

    Below are the front of back views of the t-shirt (click to enlarge). The front being the message "I make girls scream, ask me how." The back had the Flood Damage logo surrounded by silhouettes of nubile and beautiful young ladies who just happen to be addicted to screaming. Won't you help them? Someone, please, think of the sexy lady pictures!

NAKED SECONDS

    News flash: We've received a very angry set of tapes from somewhere strange. Apparently an 11-year old boy in a wheelchair from some island is angry about the the state of the world, American politics, love, death... anyway, he's pretty angry. He sent us a scorching mess of digital hardcore madness. From the scrawlings on the papers he sent us (mostly in blood and crayon) it is evident that he wants us to help him get this thing released.

    Gerbil Probe scientists are in the lab as we speak, working on top secret plans, anarchist manifestos and a new kind of bubble gum that doesn't stick to hair, but they're dropping it all in favor of working on this digital hardcore metal manic project that we've been lucky enough to stumble across. The boy calls himself "Naked Seconds," and GPR is proud to announce that we will release his record as soon as it's finished. We were going to try to save up and fly him in to finish things up, but due to his condition, and lack of transportation, he says he'd "rather eat a live octopus than be shot through the sky in a pressurized metal tube."

TIME IS ONLY A CENTURY AWAY

    For those of you who come here to read my plays and whatnot, there's a new one up called "Time is Only a Century Away." It draws on German expressionism, but I think it has more of the human element in it. See what you think, and click here.

    Work is in progress. Stay tuned for more news, music, and chaos!

December 13th 2004

NEW RELEASE OUT NOW

    Buy one today and plug into the madness! Plus, as those of you who've bought things before know, I'll throw in some free stuff too, if you're one of the first few people to purchase this CD. I love free things, don't you? Stickers, cards, gum, CDs, who knows!

October 28th 2004

    For any of you in the area, Flood Damage is playing it's first live show in Illinois this coming Saturday in honor of Halloween and the upcoming election (both of which are terrifying, for various reasons). If you want to come, it's free, and should be a rocking good time. We're playing somewhere between 4 and 7 PM at 500 S. Hays, the house of IDI (another band that we might affiliate with soon). The first information on the upcoming Flood Damage compilation appearances will be disseminated then. I hope to see some of you there! Take care...

October 24th 2004

NEW ARTISTS

    Big news at Gerbil Probe Records! First of all, we're adding a couple of artists to our roster very soon. Within the next couple of weeks, new artist pages will be going up for two different musical projects on opposite ends of the spectrum. First up is the rave-o-holic mad breakbeat techno trance drum n' bass jungle etc. spinning of DJ Jen Z, the new DJ in the Gerbil Probe Records family. Adding to the other end of the electronic spectrum, the digital hardcore industrial death metal project Naked Seconds is almost ready to be unleashed upon the world. Look for both coming soon!

LABEL MADNESS

    Gerbil Probe will be linking up with a new production company and record label in Colorado called Titan HGL. Coupled with other independent bands and labels that we're already friendly with, this could be the start of an amazing network of artistic chaos and musical expansion! Look for more details soon!

MINISTRY, SKINNY PUPPY, HANZEL UND GRETYL, THRILL KILL KULT

    These are all bands I've seen within the last three weeks. I love living in a place where I don't have to drive 9 hours to see a good rock n' roll extravaganza! Just for fun, here are some pics of myself and the new Flood Damage junkie/performance artist Carolyn with various members of Hanzel Und Gretyl, plus one shot of Ministry I got before my camera went flying from my hands and into a moshing crowd! I got it back, but that was a pretty scary moment, as you can imagine. You'll notice that George W Bush is on stage with Ministry. This shot was taken shortly before Al Jourgensen leapt upon him and pummeled him while the crowd sent up a wonderful parade of middle-fingers. Enjoy the pics!

LIKELY TARGETS IN A VACUUM

    Another new Michael A Rose play, Likely Targets in a Vacuum, has been unleashed on the world of theatre this update. It's absurdist, political, and people really seem to be enjoying it, with reviews coming in somewhere between funny and chilling. Any constructive comments or unworthy praise is certainly welcome!

LIVE SHOW

    Flood Damage will play live this weekend here in Carbondale, for the first time in Illinois. Unfortunately, it's a house party, so I don't have the details yet. As soon as I get all that info, it will be posted on the site. Much love! Until next time...

NEWS ARCHIVE

    To save loading time, all previous updates have been (and will continue to be) moved to the brand new archive section!

    Until next time, keep listening to music that gives your neighbors headaches!

    As always, the newsletter is available to all who request it. Please email me and simply ask to be on the list! Thanks!